#FlashBackFriday & Our 5 Year Anniversary

Friday, June 12, 2015

I met my husband when I was 14 years old. It's crazy, but true. If my daughter tells me that she has met the love of her life at 14, I am locking her in her room. Now more than 15 years later we're celebrating our five year anniversary. We're best friends. We know everything about each other. I know what makes him tick, and vice versa. We can complete each other's sentences.

Or if looked at from another angle, it would also be true to say...we're best friends, who desperately need time with other friends so we don't get sick of each other. We know everything about each other, including things we probably don't want to know. I know what makes him tick until he explodes, and vice versa. We complete each other's sentences, also known as interrupting each other.

After knowing each other for more years than not knowing each other, it's possible to get on each other's nerves. For my part, I know that we have developed a routine that on the surface seems harmless, but I sometimes find myself repeating activities day to day without really seeing who is standing right beside me. I know that I have at times taken him for granted.

My parents recently asked me to go through some boxes they have been graciously storing for me since high school. I never realized what a packrat I was until going through boxes of random junk including old text books, trophies from youth soccer, a troll doll (that's embarrassing) and random photos, movie ticket stubs and report cards saved for some nostalgic reason that I can no longer remember.

Amongst the many knick-knacks destined for the garage sale, I also re-discovered a few gems. And quite a few caused me to miss those youthful high school days of romance. Yes, we were young and immature, but oh my, was my husband romantic. He asked me to dances in the most outlandish ways He sang in a boat out in the lake by my house as his friends slowly pulled it to the dock where I stood waiting in shock. He lit off fireworks in my backyard. For my eighteenth birthday he gave me 18 roses each tied with a note listing the reasons he loved me.  He pulled out all the stops to win my heart.

It wasn't only the grand gestures that won me over. One of my favorite gifts was a flower he made out of a paper napkin at lunch. Often he would wait in the hall to walk me to class and write me sweet and usually humorous poems and love notes (do kids even write paper notes to each other any more in today's world of cell phones or is that a lost art?) Each of these gestures, big and small, made me feel like the most adored girl in the world.

As we've grown older, and eventually married, our relationship has changed. Instead of love notes, we shout a quick "love you" over our shoulder as we rush out the door to work. And as we've begun our family, it has become even harder to focus on being romantic as often we're struggling just to get through the day. But I think it's when courtship seems the hardest that it should be looked to the most.

Courtship should never end. We should never stop trying to win each other's hearts, just like when we were in high school and it seemed like the world would end if a certain boy didn't return my call. I never want to be someone who takes her husband for granted and likewise I don't want to be taken for granted and seen only as Mom.

As we celebrate our five year anniversary, I am motivated to be more intentional in our marriage. I want to make an effort to:
  • Flirt more and let him know that he still gives me butterflies. 
  • Write love notes and try to remember how I used to creatively fold them. Luckily, there's a youtube video for that!
  • Make him a mix CD of classic 90s hits - it has to include this classic and this one and this and I might even sneak this one in.
  • Schedule date nights and time alone just the two of us. Maybe dinner and a movie? One of our favorite dates in high school was going to the drive-in and this ingenious invention by Pizza Hut reminds me of that.
  • Put on something a little nicer than sweatpants when I get home from work, although I won’t go so far as to pull a Rachel (I couldn't even if I wanted to since I was never a cheerleader and somehow I don't think my shin guards and soccer cleats would do the trick).
  • Tell him that I could never have dreamed almost 17 years ago sitting on those bleachers at a high school football game how incredible our lives would turn out.
And since marriage is a two way street, I'm also expecting flowers and sweet words from him simply to bring a smile to my face. Maybe a few lines of his famous a,a,b,b rhyme scheme poetry? There could always be less sweatpants. And definitely a back massage or two.

I will never be too old for random sweet messages of love, a door held open, a wink as I pass by him, a flirtatious invitation to cuddle on the couch, and a hand reaching to hold mine as we walk with our daughter through the park. I pray that he never gets tired of trying. Even when he would rather walk out the door than hold it open for me, I pray he wants me to feel like that young and in love 17 year old girl again. I don't ever want the courting to end. The 90's can keep my braces and bad hairstyles, but I'll keeping the courting.

Happy Anniversary, Travis.

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  1. Oh Sarah, I am sooo moved by your post! Your love story is beautiful and your commitment to keep it alive and growing brought me to tears. You are a gifted writer as well! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on love, what matters in life and wisdom on how to make it happen. Love ya!

    1. Thank you so much, Aunt Sharon! Travis and I are lucky to have so many inspirational examples of love around us in our families!


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